ATTN: NEW BLOG LOCATION!!!

I have decided to switch to a more adult, mature, and popular weblog site. I hate to leave Xanga after so many beautiful years, but it's time to move on. I hope if you're an avid reader of my weblogs, that you will consider switching to the new venue as well so we can all be linked once again!

Farewell, Xanga, you have been extremely good to me!

Heather

http://heathergalloway.blogspot.com

I'm Waiting...Still...

You know you've been single for long enough when your own best friend tells you that SHE'S tired of you being single. Yeah, join the club.

I don't know why, but for some reason God doesn't want me to be in a relationship right now. I've been trying. I've been meeting new people. I've been myself. I'd like to think that maybe since I've been praying so hard to fall in love and find the right guy, that God is making sure I'm not held up with some idiot guy when the right man comes along. But to be honest, I'd almost jump at the next wrong guy if it would only mean that I could share my warmth with a man. I won't lower my standards, and I won't settle for less than what I deserve, but a girl can't help it if almost every single person around her is tied up with someone. One of my own roommates is in her own little relationship now, and I find myself becoming more and more disgusted with their childish and obnoxious lovey-dovey behavior, and it makes me start to wonder if I am becoming a cynic when it come to romance, and then an even bigger fear comes into view: Will I turn into a bitter old maid?

I try to fill my time with schoolwork and my energy with my girlfriends and family. I have cleaned, cooked, worked out, and even read a few books here and there. That strategy used to work, but now it's as if every second out of every day I feel my heart becoming more and more restless for those butterflies once again.

I feel like one of the luckiest girls in the world to have been given the opportunity to find myself. I have fallen in love with myself all over again. I am happy with myself, and not many women can honestly say that they don't need a man to complete themselves and make them feel whole. I've taken the time. I've put in the man hours (or in this case, woman hours). But now I feel almost as if I were being robbed. Don't I deserve someone? Am I not the top candidate for a beautiful man to wisk me away? Why do some of my friends sulk around day in and day out and dream for a man to complete their very existance for they feel inadequate when they're single, get to meet Mr. Right and I have the most ready heart out of anyone I know, and I'm stuck waiting through all of the garbage and self esteem blows of being turned down?

I know I'm young. And, to be fair, I'm not really asking for my prince charming just yet. I know I still have yet to grown and change in my life, but is it too much to ask for a little relationship to fill up this emptiness? When I do meet the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, I'd rather have a more substantial dating history than one epitome of a failed relationship, a few dates, and one wild journey through college. I'm not asking for perfection...I'm asking for company.

Dear God,

It seams that so many of my closest friends need you the most right now. I pray that you please be with them through these hard times, and show them how much you truly love them. They need to know that you never give more than they can handle, and that if they reach out to you, they can be peaceful once again. I just want everyone that I care about to be held by you and helped by you. In no way am I in as much pain and suffering as they are, so please, amidst my stupid wants and desires, be with them instead. My silly wishes can wait a thousand years before they take presidence over their desperate cries for help.

Amen

Little Miss Cinderella

Once upon a time, in a land far far away from reality, there was a girl getting ready for an otherwise ordinary night. She had high hopes and high expectations. She adorned a beautiful gown uncomparable to anything other than the first glimpse of a shooting star. But little did this girl know, tonight would be nothing short of magical and mysterious. She was patiently standing in the middle of the room when he walked in seemingly unnoticed by everyone, but when their eyes met sparks began to fly and she secretly hoped that this fuse would be lit for the remainder of the night. The attraction was immediate, but the conversation was slow to start. But this girl was persistant, and as the evening grew longer she noticed a closeness between the two of them that was growing. A few flirtacious conversations and a couple of drinks later, the two were off to paint the town red with their wild imaginations and racing heartbeats. As she fluttered down the street, one hand in his, she couldn't help but breathe it all in and praying that this moment would never end. They laughed, they smiled, they danced around those streets paved with gold. As they reached her doorstep, she found herself rambling on, trying to postpone the end of the night. He laughed at how cute she was when she stalled. And as he kissed her goodnight, she paused halfway through just to smile to herself and the clock struck midnight....

...and the next morning little Miss Cinderella awoke to the harshness of a brand new day in which her fairy tale was abruptly brought to an end and her clothes turned back to rags. As she sat up in her bed and took in the surroundings, she was immediately aware of the rude awakening to reality. See, when you have a fairy tale evening, there can be no fairy tale morning. She got up and sat on her back porch taking in the rising sun in its glory, and realized that it really didn't matter that prince charming left her stranded in the real world, because for once she could smile and for once she was reminded that there are in fact good men out there. Besides, how many girls get to be in a fairy tale these days?